


Tether

by Klainetrainunicorn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Sadness, then happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 14:18:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7466589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Klainetrainunicorn/pseuds/Klainetrainunicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Future Destiel. Team Free Will have half retired, Dean and Cas settle down together and the relationship is still very new. Dean has an argument with Cas that got extremely heated. He said some painful things and then so did Cas. Cas left he hasn’t seen him in weeks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tether

Dean kneeled by his bed, their bed. It was theirs. And how could he forget. These were the sheets Cas had chosen in an unusually domestic outing for them. He chose them bright colours, pale greens and oranges and browns and beiges that reminded him of forests. But Cas had told him it was because green was bright, when their lives could get dark sometimes.  
Dean never thought it was dark. Not when there was Cas.  
But now it was real dark.  
Dean hadn’t shaved, he had barley fell in and out of consciousness as rest.  
He had been calling out to Cas for weeks without and answer. One last try.

 

“Cas…I’m worried yeah? I’m scared too, is…is that what you wanted me to be, because I am? I’m scared. Because you’re not here with me…sounds so stupid right. You’re stronger than me…In a lot of ways.” His voice shook and fell away. He closed his eyes. “Please Cas, I’ll do anything t-”  
“What?”  
Dean’s eyes flew open. Cas was stood inches from him. Alive and well. Breathing…so so fucking gorgeous. He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head in a question.  
“What could you do to erase that? To make it go away? Say sorry. Make me breakfast tomorrow? Fuck me?”  
Dean blinked. For the first time in his life he felt utter at someone else’s will, utterly weak.  
So he merely crawled forward, swallowing the lump in his throat. He looked up at Cas from the floor, he had the look of someone who was completely concerned and confused.  
Dean took his eyes off him again. And focused on his crotch, he reached up and clumsily started to undo the button of his slacks.  
“Dean!” he hissed pushing his hands.  
“No I…damn it Cas I can make this good I…” his voice wavered and he went quiet. It was quiet a long time.  
Then he felt two fingers on his chin. Cas made him look up. The expression he was met with was on of analysis, Cas was reading him.  
Dean shook his head, uncomfortable at the thought and got to his feet shakily. Topless already he pushed down his boxers and was naked as he stepped out of them. He was exposed. Every time he recalled the argument they had, he remembered Cas looking so vulnerable and so broken. He cursed himself for it for weeks. Because that’s exactly what Cas had felt for thousands of years. Now that was exactly how he felt.  
Whether he knew it or not. He was punishing himself.  
He didn’t look up at Cas because he knew he was blushing, he swore he hear the start of a sentence catch in Cas’ throat. But he ignored it a climbed on top of the bed, he settled back into the pillows and he spread his legs.  
He remembered the shouting again. “Why not Dean! Why not go and find some little harlot to spread her legs so you can use her like prostitute.”  
“Why would I do that you’re still here aren’t you?”

Back in reality, Cas raised his brows when Dean looked at him as if to say. Do what you need yeah? Then Dean closed his eyes.  
There were footsteps, a creak of the bed and then hands on his thighs that were soft and gentle and pushed them back together.  
Dean’s lashes fluttered open. And Cas’ face was close, soft and unreadable.  
“We’re not doing that Dean.”  
“Why? I-I…”  
Cas pressed his fingers too his lips and Dean’s pained expression softened slightly.  
“How long ago did you sleep? Properly.”  
“I dunno Cas…I-the day after you left?”  
Cas sighed heavily and trailed his fingers over his cheekbone. Deans eyes fluttered again. It felt so good, jeez how the hell did Cas know how to touch him just right, how did people know this shit.  
Then the fingers reached his temple and he felt himself slipping under quickly, he gasped and clutched his hand to his face desperately.  
“Don’t you leave…” he breathed before he fell under.

XXXXXXX

When he woke it was way past midday, the day after and he could smell Cas in the room. He’d been covered over with the duvet.  
He sat up slowly. And Cas was seated in the chair by their window. For a while he didn’t look at Dean, seemingly deep in thought. Then blue met green.  
“Am I really just a body to you?”  
“Never.”  
“Good because I felt like for so fucking long and you know that.”  
“I know Cas. I’m sorry.”  
A long pause then Dean spoke gruff from sleep.  
“Do you really think I’m a waste of Gods creation?”  
“No. Not ever. I was angry. If anything you’re his most perfect creation.”  
“Even now?”  
“Even now.”  
Dean nodded. It went on like this for a while.  
“Am I really a hinderance to you and Sam?”  
“No you save us, you’re family, I couldn’t do this without you.”

“Am I really shit at looking after him.”  
“No. Not even in the slightest. You’re and incredible brother.  
Question after question until finally Dean asked.  
“Cas? Can you not do that shit anymore?”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Leave I mean. Can you stop leaving me? Because honestly. I don’t think I can take it another time beautiful.”  
And Cas heart broke. This man who had lost so much. And he had too. But Dean. He always came back. But he didn’t want him coming back. He just wanted him to stay. So did Dean. He wanted a constant not someone that passed through.  
It occurred to Cas that he was Dean’s anchor, keeping him tethered to Earth, keeping him in the now. Keeping him from fading away like just another star in and endless sky of them.

Cas shrugged of his trench and kicked of his shoes. The clattering sound caught Dean’s attention.  
“Cas…what…”  
“Shh.”  
He took of his jacket and tugged off his tie. When he unbuttoned his shirt however he left I on and he climbed under the covers next to Dean, pulling him onto the bare skin of his chest.  
It was strange for Dean. It was almost never him being held. He didn’t realise how much he needed it until now. His ear pressed to the warm skin just above his heart. A constant reminder that Cas was here. Slow, healthy thuds.  
“I love you Dean.”  
“Fuck…I love you too.”  
The heart beat fluttered.  
It fluttered faster and faster as the morning went on. Then when it was midday and the sun was warming their heaving backs, it settled and so did Dean.


End file.
